When You’re Just Too Tired to Parent: How to Keep Going When It All Feels Like Too Much
Some days just feel like too much… am I right?
You’ve reheated your coffee three times. Your kid is melting down over the wrong color bowl. There are dishes in the sink, toys on the floor, and someone always needs something. You’re trying to stay calm, connected, regulated, but you’re so tired it hurts.
If you’ve ever thought, I don’t know how to keep going like this, you’re not alone.
Parenting is hard. Parenting a child who’s been through hard things? Even harder. Trauma-informed parenting is beautiful, but it asks so much of us. It asks us to be the calm in the storm, even when the storm is also inside us.
So what do you do when you’re completely exhausted?
You ground yourself. You find your breath. You keep showing up, imperfectly, and that’s okay.
1. Say What’s True Out Loud
This one is simple, but powerful. Just name what’s real.
“I’m tired. This is a hard moment. But I’m here. I can do this.”
It doesn’t solve the problem, but it tells your brain: I’m safe. I’m not alone. I’m doing the best I can.
Saying it out loud helps shift your nervous system. It brings your Owl brain, the part that can think and plan, back online.
2. Find Your Feet
Seriously. Look down. Feel them.
Push your feet into the floor. Wiggle your toes. Notice the sensation.
This tiny moment helps your brain settle. Robyn Gobbel teaches that connecting to your body, especially your feet, can bring you out of fight, flight, or freeze.
You can even whisper, “I am grounded. I’m okay. I can get through this.”
And you can.
3. Breathe Like You Mean It
You’re probably breathing already (hopefully), but when you’re overwhelmed, your breath gets shallow and quick. That sends a signal to your brain that you’re in danger.
Try this instead:
Inhale for 4 counts
Hold for 2
Exhale for 6
Longer exhales calm your nervous system. Even three of these breaths can help your body settle enough to think again.
4. Take a Connection Break
If you feel like you’re about to snap, step away with your child instead of putting them away.
Go to a quiet room together. Sit on the floor. Offer a snack or some water. Breathe together. Let your child borrow your calm.
Sometimes that’s all they need. And sometimes it’s all you need too.
5. Lower the Bar
Hard days call for simple plans. Frozen pizza is dinner. The laundry can wait. Screen time is not the enemy.
Let yourself off the hook.
Connection is more important than perfection. Always.
Some days, survival is the win.
You’re Still a Good Parent!!
You’re showing up. You’re trying. You’re loving a child who might not know how to show love back yet. That matters more than you know.
Exhaustion doesn’t mean failure. It just means you’re human.
There’s no gold star for pretending you’re okay when you’re not. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is sit on the floor, take a breath, and try again.
You don’t need to fix everything today. Just stay in the room.
You got this, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
I see you. I’m with you.
– Levi Campbell, MS
Parent Coach, TBRI Practitioner
www.campbellscc.com/parent-coaching
Know someone who needs to hear this today?
Send it their way. Just a simple “thinking of you” can go a long way.
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