Dear Teacher
Feel free to share this letter with your child’s teacher, school counselor, or any staff member who supports them. It is designed to foster understanding, encourage collaboration, and create a classroom environment where connection and safety come first. You are not in this alone. Together, we can help your child feel seen, supported, and safe.
Dear Teacher,
Thank you for showing up every day for kids. As the caregiver of a child who has experienced trauma, I want to start by saying how much I appreciate your role in their life. I know your job is incredibly important, and also incredibly hard. This letter is my way of offering support, context, and partnership.
My child has been through hard things. Some of those experiences are remembered in stories, and others are stored in their body. Trauma wires the brain for protection, not connection. So at times, you may see my child reacting in ways that feel big, baffling, or confusing. Their brain might be acting like a watchdog (on high alert) or a possum (shut down and withdrawn). What looks like defiance or disrespect may actually be fear.
From TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention), we’ve learned that behavior is communication. Underneath every behavior is a need. Sometimes my child needs connection, sometimes control, and sometimes safety. What helps most are moments of connection before correction, consistent routines, clear choices, and calm presence. Even something as simple as offering a drink of water or a quick movement break can support regulation.
From DDP (Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy), we lean into the idea of PACE—Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. These help my child feel safe enough to learn, relate, and reflect. You don’t have to know their whole story. You just have to stay curious about what their behavior might be telling you and respond with connection.
Robyn Gobbel teaches that connection builds safety, and safety builds regulation. She reminds us that co-regulation is the foundation for self-regulation. My child still needs the steady presence of calm adults to help their nervous system settle. Your deep breaths and grounded voice can have a greater impact than any sticker chart or timeout.
The Window of Tolerance is the range of emotional and physiological states in which a person can function, learn, and relate to others. For children from hard places, those who have experienced trauma, neglect, or chronic stress, this window is often much narrower. In a school setting, this can show up as frequent outbursts, shutting down, or struggling with transitions. What might seem like overreacting to a small trigger is often a sign that the child has been pushed outside their window. Their brain and body move into survival mode, and logical thinking goes offline.
When a child is outside their window of tolerance, traditional discipline or instruction may not work. Instead of compliance, you might see resistance, avoidance, or emotional flooding. These are not signs of bad behavior but signs of a dysregulated nervous system. Educators can support these children by offering consistent structure, using calm and connection-focused approaches, and providing sensory or movement breaks. When adults help kids feel safe, seen, and soothed, it creates opportunities for regulation, which is the foundation for learning. Over time, this support can help expand the child’s window and build resilience.
This is not easy work, and I do not expect perfection. I am here to collaborate and problem-solve with you. You are a key part of my child’s healing. If something comes up that feels hard, confusing, or frustrating, I welcome the opportunity to talk about it together.
Thank you for being someone my child can count on. Even if they cannot say it, your presence matters more than you may ever know.
With gratitude,
Levi Campbell, MS
Helpful Resources
TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention):
The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline (Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)
The PACE Model (DDP Network):
Robyn Gobbel’s Podcast and Resources:
Book: Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel