Knowing Isn’t Even Half the Battle

I came across a passage today that stopped me in my tracks. It’s from Robyn Gobbel’s book, and the words felt like they were written just for me.

“You’re probably tired of the parenting book cycle. You read a parenting book, feel briefly empowered with new ideas and techniques, then quickly fall back into real life only to feel like you can’t implement what you learned. Like you’re failing. Again.”

That hit hard.

I’ve read a lot of parenting books. I’ve taken the trainings, studied the research, and taught others what I’ve learned. But even now, I’m still learning. Still trying. Still coming up short in the moments when I wish I could show up better. That’s why this passage struck such a chord. Robyn puts words to what so many of us feel. The spark of hope we get from new tools fades fast when real life happens. When the meltdowns start. When we are tired and dysregulated. When our best intentions slip through the cracks.

That quiet voice creeps in and whispers, “You should have this figured out by now.”

But here’s what Robyn reminds us.

“It’s not because you are doing anything wrong. It’s because knowing isn’t even half the battle.”

And I needed that reminder.

Parenting kids with trauma histories, with neurodivergence, or with big baffling behaviors isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about healing. It’s about learning how to regulate ourselves so we can offer safety and connection. Reading helps. Learning matters. But change happens in the practice. In the relationship. In the repair after the rupture.

So if you’re still learning like I am, still showing up the best you can, please hear this.

You are not failing. You are doing incredibly brave work by staying in it and trying again.

That counts. That matters. And you’re not alone.

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